Suppressed

*dusts cobwebs*

Yeah. Again. I know.

This is a special piece because is serves as a precursor to something I’ve always wanted to do but never had the conviction to … until now. I’ve already read this piece for the good people who were at Outspoken & it’s only right I post this piece here in my personal space so everybody can see it.

So without further ado,

*cracks fingers*

The desire I suppressed,
explodes out with a vengeance,
refuses to be locked away,
in a place where it’s never seen.

The desire I suppressed,
found a way to escape,
refusing to be a story,
of what could’ve been.

The desire I suppressed,
exposed my indecision,
in a forceful up rise,
to make me do through any means.

The desire I suppressed,
in preference for other ventures,
shows me that this reality,
isn’t all that it seems.

So I fall into this desire,
release it from it’s suppression,
as a cure for my silent depression,
that doesn’t cripple me.

I embrace this desire slowly,
as the fear of failure & backlash remain,
but I’m engulfed in this,
it has become an objective I want to attain.

So the desire I suppressed,
has taken over me,
successfully hacking my brain,
but instead of control, freedom has become the aim.

The desire I suppressed,
has now become my mission,
replacing artificial desires,
with the love of my formerly suppressed ambition.

 

Watch out. Something is gonna happen soon.

October 1st.

Peace, Love, & Positivity.

Y1nka

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Day 17: Yinka

Day 17: Yinka

Every year I write down my targets for 2016 on this website & it’s been very helpful because it gives me something to reference during the year when I need reminding of what I want to do.

Here’s this year’s version.

nostalgic words of future me

2017. How far? We’re going to have a blast this year, right? Much better than 2016, right?

Yeah, because that’s the real target this year. Every professional and creative target I have this year will be subsidiary to the decree that I must enjoy this year more than the last. 2016 wasn’t bad but it could’ve been a lot better, so this post is all about writing my own steps to happiness into existence.

First, my full-time happiness must be a priority over everyone else’s. I’ve always tried to be the one to take the hit for the team but when you find yourself doing that all the time without reciprocal effort to do the same then you end up blunting your happiness because you don’t want to be a nuisance to other people’s plans. If there’s one thing I learned in 2016, it’s that nobody is going to be able…

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Limitless

*dusts cobwebs*

Happy New Year Everyone!
I haven’t posted anything here in a while but it doesn’t mean I haven’t written anything since then. I have lots of jotters where I scribble stuff but the problem it I never want to type it out … until now.

Hopefully I’ll post a few more this year but lets start with this:

 

I want to be limitless,
My achievements to have no comparison,
The whole biography to be nothing but original,
My ways to be the human symbol of versatile success.

I want to be limitless,
Strays into the unknown are just revising an old book,
A staunch jack of all trades I know a little about a lot,
An ability to adapt to all the challenges I got.

I want to be limitless,
Invest money to be better & grow more,
Unlock the potential in the potential to see what’s in store,
Contentment is the enemy, what are you standing still for?

I want to be limitless,
The work rate must math the mental ambition,
Untangle my brain with thoughts, get headaches & still think on,
Get a pillow to lie on but the brain is still on.

I want to be limitless,
I’m doomed to chase perfection,
The thought of success gives me an erection,
& that feeling is exposed through coitus with no hesitation.

I want to be limitless,
To conquer all the horizons I can,
To stumble & falter until I am the man,
Till my last breath I will do all I can,

To be Limitless

Happy 2017 everyone.

A very conscious birthday poem…

Reading for my future...
Reading for my future…

Today I graduate from a number with the intention of evolution
A moment to look back and prosecute the embodiment of my respiration
the hustle of my mushed-up green spaghetti ball, the outlook through the microscope of my moments
my bracket of time which encapsulates my finest hours and spices it up with my darkest embers of thought and deed
Today I lock all sources of negativity, I must look to the future with optimism
I refuse to let my chances of success calculate themselves on piece of paper
for if they foresee downfall, they are just spaces of matter that will delete themselves from memory
for I know no shed of pessimism that will befall my great plans of this world

My mind flows angry like the wind-conducted river
like the conductor having the night of his life
his baton moves with so much aggression
yet he embodies so much accuracy and composure
in that one-of-a-kind suit tailored for nights of bright lights the sun can’t give
spurred on by each and every tune, melody, harmony, and note that reacts to his majesty with so much passion
This is the embodiment of what I want to be…

I’m not outspoken, but my views are heard and my arguments are loud
I’m not a businessman, but I always see the end from the means of my input
My life isn’t full of the glamour and riches, but I would never change anything I have now for the sole price of money

I Thank God because the uprising of thoughts hasn’t formatted my brain from what it has always been
My environment hasn’t changed the way I process my reactions
Everything I represent in this life comes from my own inspiration

I thank Allah SWT that despite all I’ve seen in my lifetime, I still remain the man I have always been.

Happy Birthday Y1nka…

100 Truths

Hey Guys,

Found this on a friend’s blog so I decided to do my version. Expect a lot from me this year.

These are the 100 Truths…

1. Last beverage → Sprite
2. Last phone call → Mommy
3. Last text message → GT Bank
4. Last song you listened to → Darey’s “Not The Girl”
5. Last time you cried → Can’t Remember

♥ HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice? → Nope
7. Been cheated on? → Nope
8. Kissed someone? → Yes
9. Lost someone special? → Yes
10. Been depressed? → Yes, but that was so last year!
11. Been drunk and threw up? → Nope

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Red
13. Blue
14. Brown
15. Black

HAVE YOU:
16. Made new friends → Yeah
17. Fallen out of love → Yes
18. Laughed until you cried → I do this a lot, then my stomach starts vexing me…
19. Met someone who changed you → Nope
20. Found out who your true friends were → Nothing conclusive but have too many ideas…
21. Found out someone was talking about you → Yeah. I never looked at him the same way since.
22. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list → Nah…
23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life → Not many
25. Do you have any pets → No, & I don’t think I want one.
26. Do you want to change your name→ Nope.
27. What did you do for your last birthday → Got drunk, played games, got drunk and did everything I could to cure the hangover.
28. What time did you wake up today → 6 A.M.
29. What were you doing at midnight last night → Watching series, updating drafts & walking round school.
30. Name something you cannot wait for → My Birthday!!
31. Last time you saw your father → The last night before travelling back to school.
32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → The way I procrastinate work.
33. What are you listening to right now → Django Unchained OST
34. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → No
35. What’s getting on your nerves right now? → Life’s moving too slow for me…
36. Most visited webpage → This January its olatoxic.wordpress.com. #30DaysofHope

FACTS
37. What’s your name → Abdullahi Adeyinka Aknni Adebiyi
38. Nicknames → A4, Capo, eFP, Bustin’, and a lot more I can’t remember..
39. Relationship Status → Single
40. Zodiac sign → Pisces
41. Male or female or transgendered→ Male
42. Primary→ Manarat Jeddah Intl’ School, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia (Kindergarten – Pry 4) & Bells Primary School, Ota, Ogun State (Pry 5)
43. High School → Bells Comp. Secondary School
44. College → American University of Nigeria, Yola.
45. Hair colour → Black
46. Long/medium/short → Short
47. Height → I haven’t checked in a while
48. Do you have a crush on someone? → Nope
49: What do you like about yourself? → My ability to adapt and improvise
50. Home Town → Abeokuta
51. Tattoos → No.
52. Righty or lefty → Righty

♥ FIRSTS :
53. First surgery → 10 stitches on my back. Got into a fight and got pushed on a catcher (those things used to padlock lockers).
54. First relationship → 18.
55. First best friends → Enuamaka Mkparu. My BFF!
56. First sport you joined → Swimming…
57. First pet → A cat
58. First vacation→ Riyadh
59. First concert → Went to see one Arab musician…
60. First crush → Halima Abubakr. Wondering where she is now…

♥ RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating → Shortcake
62. Drinking → Sprite
63. Already missing → Home
64. I’m about to → Play FIFA 13!
65. Listening to → Burna Boy…
66. Thinking about → How I’m going to beat this guy!
67. Waiting for? My turn!

♥ YOUR FUTURE :
68. Want kids? → 4 kids…2 boys and 2 girls & the oldest and youngest are girls
69. Want to get married? → Yes…
70. Careers in mind → A lot!

♥ WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
71. Lips or eyes → Eyes
72. Hugs or kisses → Both!
73. Shorter or taller → Definitely shorter!
74. Older or Younger → I’ll take the risk with anyone that catches my heart…
75. Romantic or spontaneous → Pure Romantic. Don;t know any other way.
76. Nice stomach or nice arms → Stomach.
77. Sensitive or loud → Please balance it out
78. Hook-up or relationship → Anyone that comes my way…
79. Trouble maker or hesitant → again, balance it out.

HAVE YOU EVER :
81. Drank hard liquor → Yesterday night…
82. Lost glasses/contacts → I’ve lost glasses, never worn contacts.
83. Had sex on 1st date – Nope
84. Broken someone’s heart → Yeah
85. Had your own heart broken → Yeah
86. Been arrested → Nope
87. Turned someone down → Yes
88. Cried when someone died → That’s reserved for Family.
89. Liked a friend that’s of the same sex? → Nope

♥ DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
90. Yourself → Always
91. Miracles → yes, no, yes, no, YES!
92. Love at first sight → Yes..
93. Heaven → Yes
94. Santa Claus → I WANT TO SEE HIM
95. Kiss on the first date? → Yes
96. Angels → Yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Hmm…yes
98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend? → No
99. Wish you could change things in your past? Nope. If anything I thank God for it
100. Are you posting this as 100 Truths? → Yes!

Y1nka

The 30-Day Challenge – Day 9 – My future

Alo!

2 days ago I discussed the Zodiac & a moment of satisfaction in my life. Today I’m giving you a poem about how I want my future to be. 

 

Rivers flowing to my whistle,

Wind blowing to my wave,

Water rising to my moves,

Fire salutes to my gaze,

 

Money piles as I drench my clothing with my sweat,

Fortune elevates as the mercury on a sick man,

Imagination as fresh as the water of Mecca,

Creativity emanating through my actions and deeds.

 

Humility dresses me up,

Ambition is my weapon,

Determination is my mindset,

and Skill is my shield.

 

As I leave my humble adobe,

into the fighting ground,

I will not show the left cheek,

I will never back down.

 

I will never stop looking for greatness,

Perfection is my aim,

but satisfaction in all my endeavours

must be attained.

 

 

*whew*

This is my aim. One word: satisfaction

Watch this space  as I drop Day 10 and 11…..

Impossible is Nothing

Y1nka

The 30-Day Challenge – Day 3 – Drugs and Alcohol

Alo!

Yesterday I discussed where I’d like to be in 10 years, and I actually enjoyed dreaming about it yesterday night. :D. Today its gonna be about the most acceptable social vices life has to offer: drugs and alcohol. Enjoy… 

Growing up in Saudi Arabia is probably an experience not many people would have in their life, but it showed me a lot of stuff. It showed me the good from the bad, the right form the wrong, and I could sieve away the truth from the lies. I’m a muslim so when we had classes we always talked about what’s right and what’s wrong. It was something that we couldn’t do without in an IRS class. That being said, I will always know drinking and smoking is haram in my religion (although in Nigeria, the smoking part is debatable).

Here’s the irony: In Saudi Arabia smoking cigarettes is rife. Almost everyone does it. Having a box of cigarettes was like having your house keys; it was almost a necessity. I’m won’t cover the part about lighters; the least said the better. You can actually get scolded by your parents for breaking their lighters (not my parents!).

You won’t find a much worse contrast than the Arab’s preference to smoking, compared with their gut-wrenching hatred for alcohol. It’s so funny that they prefer to smoke out their lungs rather than destroy your liver cells. I believe that the Qur’an banned both because they are intoxicants, and they can kill by causing cancers. In other words, you got the cancer because you were smoking too much (lung cancer) or you were drinking too much (liver cancer). You’re killing yourself indirectly, and suicide leads straight to hell. So what’s your p???

When I came to Nigeria in 2003, the cigarette smoking was normal to me but the drinking wasn’t. The first time I took alcohol (Don Simon) it was mixed with Berry Blast and the alcohol content wasn’t huge, so my throat wasn’t getting fried. It also meant I didn’t know I was taking alcohol. When I went home I jumped on my bed. Let’s just say the dream I had that day could win an Oscar.

I thought that was all, but I was shocked when I saw a shop owner drinking a full bottle of cough syrup. The young, immature mind of mine thought his case of cough was special, until I told my friends what I saw and they gave me two (2) words: Codeine and Benylyn. Then they virtually educated me about drugs. Then the rest is history…

I feel that smoking is worse than drinking because I don’t want to enter a room and everyone starts looking at me smiling and asking me for what I smoked. Even if it happens for drinking, it’s virtually nothing that chewing gum (orbit to be exact) couldn’t solve. Being a moderate drinker doesn’t make you look like a complete sinner (except you are a muslim) but entering a room and the smell of your skunk, not to mention the snail-like movement caused by codeine….*sigh*. But as they say, too much of everything isn’t good so

These are my thoughts. One word: Opinion

Check back tomorrow for Day 4 as I discuss Islam, my religion. Don’t forget to subscribe….

Impossible is Nothing…

Y1nka